santa and the peacock

Why won't they stop saying that to me? Can't they see that I don't make eye contact for a reason? Apparently not. At first it was easy to wag my tail and live up to their ridiculous expectations but now this has become too much. They're so dense. I've even started to roll my eyes and they don't respond properly. They just keep saying good boy, good boy, blablabla. They're always touching me too. Don't they get it? I've attacked multiple people and they're still touching me! When I walk away, they follow. Why don't human rules apply to dogs? Why can't I have a moment of peace?