for bollymabis

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Dear Gardasil

I appreciate your fight against HPV. It is wonderful that there is now a vaccine to combat a virus that has the potential to snowball into one of the deadliest diseases known to women.

I am writing because your commercials are ridiculous. I am, of course, referring to your "Everything I Can" campaign. One would think that Merck and Co being a multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical corporation, you could hire consultants and ad execs that can speak proper English before launching a major campaign. As you are aware, at the end of each of your commercials, the somber female actress states as follows: "What would I do to protect myself? Everything I can."

It doesn't take a genius to recognize the fault that can be found in the above two sentences when placed together as a question and answer. The word "would" can be a verb to act as the past tense for "will" or, in this case, can act as an auxiliary to express desire or a wish. It suggests something someone MIGHT do, or would do given the chance or opportunity. Thus, the correct response to "What would I do to protect myself?" would be "Everything I COULD."

Now, I understand your desire to keep the phrase "Everything I can." However, in that case, the question preceeding that response should be "What WILL I do to protect myself?" (as well, using "will" instead of "would" makes the sentence stronger, as though one is taking action rather than considering the possibility of taking action).

No problem!

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