for bollymabis

Friday, October 31, 2008

happy halloweeeeeenn

Why, thank you. And let me deliver a message to you. Beware. This is the creepiest person alive. He will climb into your bed and drench you with spittle. Don't go to sleep or else this face will haunt you.

Good luck with that.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

To Yeezy, With Love, Jeezy



(he won't do anything to you but smile, but c'mon, that's enough for a years worth of nightmares. plus if you pick him up and cuddle with him until 3am, his frightening characteristics will dissipate, and you'll just have a cuddly lovebug to warm you up on the cold night before Halloween. so yeah, I guess that's not such a bad thing. ignore the next line, please....)



(and if a sloth really does show up in your room, you might wanna call animal control. or the world wildlife fed. because seriously, what is a sloth doing in your room? are you illegally breeding and selling wild animals now? you bastard!)

Love, THE GHOST OF HALLOWEENS PAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An open letter to the new Glade commercials

Dear Glade,

WTF, mate? I don't understand your new commercials. There is the yoga one, the gingerbread cookie one, and the party one. In each, the woman uses a glade candle, but rips off the plastic around it so her friends can't tell it's a glade, and then she proceeds to lie to her friends, saying the wonderful smell in her house is either freshly baked gingerbread men, a candle from France, or a mixture of scents she found to tap into her "inner karma." Bitch, please. Lying isn't going to give you good karma. Also, it's obvious you are a compulsive liar who won't let getting caught in a lie stop you from doing it again. Get some help. You're annoying and soon, you won't have any friends coming over to lie to.

Also, I thought Glade candles were bad for you because they coated the inside of people's noses with harmful chemicals from the burning candles? Just wanted to throw that out there.

Also part deux, I hate the KFC commercials with the hubby and wife doing the lamaze breathing. Nothing says "I want chicken" like watching a man and woman go into labour. Sexy!

Love, Dolly Mabis

Monday, October 27, 2008

Bottle noses and rubbery skin

Peanut-head and the separation of families.
Wild animals.
Majestic beasts.
Intelligent, flying through the water.
Christopher Porter is a disgrace to Canada.

Grey (Gray) Sky in Morning PT. II

She wondered blue day
And then they surrendered to Colonol Cloon-ay
What do you think, Sha nay?
Nep o lind er woff, moo lah!
And they condensed the song into the pink sky, hooray!

But the frogs knew not
what was in store for they
green and shiney and sweet
from the princeses' bowl of soup

Saturday, October 25, 2008

hyatt regency

I love O, makeup artist by day tranny by night. He's awesome.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

this is dedicated to you

hellz to the yeeeeah says:

we are SO GROSS

ballin' .how could you be so heartless. says:

but awesome

hellz to the yeeeeah says:

seriously awesome

hmm perhaps

Just go away...please...?

Monday, October 20, 2008

For they looked in the future, and what did they see, they saw an iron road running from the sea to the sea

Wasn't sure.

.goodbye my friend.

We're watching you. We're watching you sleep. It seems like all we do is wait. We wait for night to come. We wait for you to close your eyes for the last time. We wait for the chance to get off of this shelf and move closer. We have planned our escape many times but its never perfect enough to get away from you. You always know. Always realize. Maybe we will have to get you first...someday...someday....

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Sweet talk but don't intimidate her

There is a cat taking a dump literally right outside my window. And now he is covering his poop in leaves.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Gavin says hi - he was very loud and move-y last night

I miss you too, Yeezy Dolly. And hellz yeah, you and your facial expression were the only reason SATC was worth watching - that, and the pubic hair. OMG ginger firebox, I just puked.

Okay, this post is going to be about something that I find incredibly annoying. Overt sexuality. I don't care if I sound 82.

Though she, too, annoys the bejessuz out of me (but that's another post for another day), there is something to be said for Dita Von Teese. Burlesque is Stripper's classy, less wasted distant cousin. It's about the tease. And the tease, that little appetizer, can be far hotter than the main course. Yes, we can all take our clothes off on stage and wiggle our junk (that was for you, Dane) around (in theory). But can you turn someone's crank merely by removing a glove? Can you make splashing around in a martini glass look hella sexy? It's the art form versus the art itself.

This is why overt displays of sexuality in our culture are so blase. I could get into the feminist aspect of this topic and go on and on about how women are objectified and their bodies are sexualized, but I won't (though I believe it). No, this post is about what a yawn it is when you see a girl or guy walking down the street trying far too damn hard. Dear Katy Perry, I'm talking to you. Okay, you kissed a fucking girl. NOBODY CARES. 80 PERCENT OF THE GIRLS THAT REGULARLY GO TO BARS HAVE, TOO. But we get it - okay, okay, you invented kissing girls, bravo, you liked it, get a room. You're trying to do the whole retro pin-up gig, but you're failing miserably because you seem to always have to have those eyes that display the fact that you are thinking OH SO NAUGHTY thoughts (but not really), licking your lips and touching yourself during your performance of "Like a Virgin" on the MTV Video music awards. That is why this video is oh, so karmatic:

It's about the subtle gestures, hand movements, the girls who are really thinking naughty thoughts behind those eyelash veiled baby blues (I'm talking to you, Ms. Jolie). Ya feel me?

Really, I don't care that much. I just wanted an excuse to vent my distaste for Ms. Perry and the wonderful fall on her ass. You're welcome. Also, Yeezy, I think you need to post the clip of Yeezy on Ellen. THAT is sexy, yet understated.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes/Turn and face the strange/Ch-ch-changes

Jeezy Mabis come back s'il vous plait. I miss you. I have nothing to do. mlehhh good times watching SATC with you. Even though it sucked. A lot. Haha only how many days did I say? Oh 69. That's awesome. YAY! :).

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Maybe I don't want a humpback whale.

Its 10 and you're still sleeping. Has this ever happened? I'll count out the hours for you since we know how that goes. 14 hours! 14 whole hours. That's insane.

I love the first frost. So magical. And while this may not be the actual frost, its the first official one where the frost is visible. Frost means winter and winter means Christmas.. YAY!

Bolly Mabis, we miss you. Hope that your weekend is enjoyable and we will talk to you soon. Remember: NO Butterballs. :).

Yum ethiopian food. CAN'T WAIT! And that wonderful, wonderful street. I LOVE visiting that street:). So many things to see and make me broke haha :P.

It is going to be a magical day... I can feel it. Oh, hello Gavin. Fancy meeting you here.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Thursday, October 2, 2008

I've been travelling on this road too long

I'm dying. I'm dying. I'm dying. I'm dying. This is the last time I'll open my eyes. The last time I'll be surrounded by these people. By my colleagues and friends. There's so much pain. Like nothing I've ever imagined. I look down at the numerous IVs in my arms. I cringe at the thought of what's wrong with me. There's a blanket covering the place where my calves should be but its flat. I feel something pricking into my lower back. More needles. But its none of these things that bother me. It was preventable. None of this had to happen. More of a mistake that was made because of choices. Bad choices. Choices that had nothing to do with me. Is it karma? What did I do wrong? Nothing. Getting up this morning? But why does it matter now? It doesn't. I close my eyes and memories flood back to me and there are too many images to process. My family's house, the smell of mom's cake, Christmas time, family trips... I feel something wet and I burst into silent tears.