Wednesday, November 5, 2008
You(not you... YOU) are a constant reminder of what has happened. Of why I did what I did. Of why I did what was necessary. Not just necessary, but mandatory. If it hadn't been for you, I'd never have done what I did. I would never have hurt so many people. If it weren't for your constant belief, no not belief. Expectations. For me. Potential. That was the word you used. You just kept pushing, no matter how hard I pushed back. You wouldn't stop. You had to be stopped. And yet you continue. You continue to push and pull and expect and wish... for the better, for something different. Can't you stop? If not for my sake, what about hers? What about his? What about yours? Wouldn't it be easier to just not.. just not do what you do. Not push. Not pull. Not expect. Not wish. Because of your huge expectations mine have been weakened. Its not that I don't want to believe, don't want to hope and wish. Its that I can't.